i'm tired of being the poor, cliche, misunderstood

things feel as if they are spiraling out of control. i feel like i've been backed into corner, a corner that has a window conveniently half open. it leaves me two options keep backing into this corner and let things get out of control OR i can open the window and finally let go of everything and start anew.

surely option number 2 is obviously the route to go... i just don't know why i'm petrified to jump out that window. i've spent three years contemplating every single thing humanly possible questioning everything i could and look where its got me... nowhere. i don't for the life of me understand why when i get so many golden opportunities always i just... well let them go.

i keep saying to myself i don't want to be like of one of them but somehow i feel like i'm turning into that. the next 3 weeks of my life are going to be extremely crucial in determining if i really do decide to pull the trigger and start to pursue what i really want and not contemplate what could have been within my missed opportunities.

ironically enough within the past 9 months of this year i've seen/learned/figured out more about... well everything. i 'get it' now i finally understand how the world really works and realities of a lot of things. sometimes it takes you re lowest points to really figure out what your highest points can possibly be... and oddly enough i finally understand you got to take the chance and go off into the unknown to not be that.

posted by nicholas b. @ 1:06 AM

holy fall

i am busy, very busy. but a good kind of busy. i saw reggie last weekend in nyc which was so good. justice this weekend in albany for free! then the following saturday dinosaur jr! on top of all that i got college crap to worry about and possible nyc trips, and it looks like i'll be back down there again in october for saves the day! and maybe some MSTRKFT at vassar!? on top of all of that i'm at the rink almost 5-6 days a week...

still i would not have it any other way. call me crazy but i love the fall. the past like what? 3 falls now have been great in terms of shows and other things. what can i say? the lack of updates is not because of a lack of things going on i'm just busy!

with my busyness being said perfect sound video is stil... well a work (or not) in progress. i really want to do it, but its getting harder and harder, and shane, chris and i started a new 80's influneced hardcore band called contact kiss, hopefully shows are coming soon!

like i said, i'm busyyy

posted by nicholas b. @ 10:55 PM