i'm tired of being the poor, cliche, misunderstood

things feel as if they are spiraling out of control. i feel like i've been backed into corner, a corner that has a window conveniently half open. it leaves me two options keep backing into this corner and let things get out of control OR i can open the window and finally let go of everything and start anew.

surely option number 2 is obviously the route to go... i just don't know why i'm petrified to jump out that window. i've spent three years contemplating every single thing humanly possible questioning everything i could and look where its got me... nowhere. i don't for the life of me understand why when i get so many golden opportunities always i just... well let them go.

i keep saying to myself i don't want to be like of one of them but somehow i feel like i'm turning into that. the next 3 weeks of my life are going to be extremely crucial in determining if i really do decide to pull the trigger and start to pursue what i really want and not contemplate what could have been within my missed opportunities.

ironically enough within the past 9 months of this year i've seen/learned/figured out more about... well everything. i 'get it' now i finally understand how the world really works and realities of a lot of things. sometimes it takes you re lowest points to really figure out what your highest points can possibly be... and oddly enough i finally understand you got to take the chance and go off into the unknown to not be that.

posted by nicholas b. @ 1:06 AM